I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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