im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
