i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I would ride that face into the sunset
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
