No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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