Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You smell like stripper and shame
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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