Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
