I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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