I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize