she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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