Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The air taste purple.
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