its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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