sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize