I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
