im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We need to rekindle our bromance
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Drunk is a universal language darling
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
