It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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