officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
