Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
