too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
