We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
