dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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