Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
