Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
