His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
