why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
