Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
