Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
