How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
