we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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