the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
