get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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