so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
