You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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