You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I smell like Dick and happiness
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
