the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
