I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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