if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
