It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
