I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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