Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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