His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
