So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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