This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize