Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
