Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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