All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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