i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
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