just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize