i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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