your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The best revenge is premature balding
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
