i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
