is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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