i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
