I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
