so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize