I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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